yesterday i got to spend a few hours alone with just this guy. it was so fun for me. language school can be taxing, not getting the time with my kids that i really want. it's hard to get one-on-one time with luke when mary is around because she always wants to talk or play something that he can't do yet. luke sleeps more than mary so i always get one-on-one time with her. this month i'm only going to class three days a week and am studying in the afternoons. this gives me mornings at home with the kids. mary goes to school for two hours M-TH so i'll have two hours with just luke.
yesterday we played with toy animals, kicked/threw/shot/rolled the ball over and over again, read books, colored, ate snack... just me and bubba. sometimes luke has been a little difficult and sometimes i think it's because he doesn't get as much of my attention as he'd like (though i will say he wants A LOT of the attention) and he's always wanting more. so, he clings to me, cries, whines, etc. all babies do.
i have gotten more time with him the last few days and he has been so pleasant. so happy, silly, funny... eating well, hitting less, throwing himself on the floor in complete despair over not getting another cup of milk less. :) i'm not saying he's going to be a perfect kid now that he has a few hours with me, but i do think this will help both of us.
this language school /getting time with my kids balance has weighed heavy on me for months now. i know many moms work outside of the home and i know it can be neccesary, and i now understand how hard it is. yesterday when i got undivided attention with my little man i felt so peaceful, so right. this is what i'm supposed to be doing. on the floor, playing with and loving my kids.
even little things, like putting him to bed at night. i always have to speed through singing "amazing grace" because if not he'll wiggle out of my arms and run out the door. the last few naps and nights he's let me just rock him. i have felt such grace and peace with him. i'm so thankful. so thankful that i get to be his mom and spend time with him.
he's clearly starting to understand more. he understands little games like hide and seek, he laughs at mary and her friends when they laugh about something, he understands the things he is allowed to do (throw balls) and isn't allowed to do (throw anything else... cup, food, blocks, phones... you name it, he wants to throw it). he holds the object that is not allowed to be thrown over his shoulder and looks at me, waiting for me to shake my head no. then, he hands it to me. i feel like it's a miracle. :) previously, he hasn't really responded to any discipline or "no"... if i told him "no hit" after he hits something (or me) in anger he just looks at me and does it over again.
all this to say, i'm thankful. i'm thankful that i get to spend time with my kids. i'm thankful that i get to play with them and go on walks and eat lunch and talk to them. i thankful that i get to train them and teach them about God and how wonderful He is. though by 7:30pm every night i'm about to fall over in exhaustion, this is our life and i love it.