ISO100, 1/125, f 2.8, 50mm
mary playing dress up at a friend's house.
our kids are in such a funny stage… mary is a thinker and the things that come out of her mouth these days crack me up. they may be better in person (and if you can "hear" her say it) but i'm going to write a few so i don't forget in 5 years, or 5 days.
today we were at the mall. she asked for a barbie as we walked by it. we don't do barbies yet… no judgement if you do, we just don't at this point. she asked why she couldn't have one. i said something like, remember how we talk about looking at the inside of a person to find beauty instead of the outside… barbies have a lot of outward beauty that isn't realistic (heavy for a 4 year old, i know). she said something like this, "i have an idea! you know how i always pretend with "my people" that there is Jesus and that He heals them and stuff. well, the barbies can have a pretend Jesus and they can be with him. then, when i open them up and look into their hearts they will be pretty on the inside too, mom!" it was much longer than that and had a lot of thoughtful pauses and deep breaths. i almost wanted to give in because i was so impressed with her logic. almost.
tonight i was cooking dinner. she asked if she could be the philistines and act kind of mad. i was half paying attention and said sure. her face turned into a scowl and she said yelled angrily "hi mom!" i said hi. "how was your day?", continuing in angry mode. i said fine as i stirred our dinner. then she looked at me with her angry eyes and grumbled "thanks for making us dinner, mom!" i couldn't help but laugh. she's sweet even when she's being "angry."
as i was putting her to bed we had a long conversation about praying. loves the bible, bursts out into spontaneous worship songs for things she's thankful for, etc… but she does not want to pray. i'm trying to be okay with it and just talk about it with her. anyways, tonight as i was putting her to bed i was reading a book about a little girl praying (thanks, carolyn!) and we had a long talk about talking to God. she told me she felt funny, and i said it was okay. i would just pray. as i was praying she said she wanted to also… i felt like it was a real victory for her because she decided she wanted to. she prayed for our baby we're waiting for… she prayed that he/she would be filled with joy today, that baby would have peace in his heart, she prayed that we would be a good family and that she and luke would be a good sister and brother. then, she said "i pray that our baby will have courage to come into our family and have a new mommy, a white mommy." she stopped praying and explained to me how some of her friends who don't have mommies are darker and they might be afraid to have a white mommy like me. wisdom.
so thankful for my funny, thoughtful girl.