to our baby...

dearest one,
right now you are a thought in my mind, a frequent day dream, someone i long to create in my imagination but i don't even know where to begin.  i don't know you yet.  i can't see you, i don't hear your cry or your laugh.  i can't imagine what your eyes look like or how your little body moves around.   i don't know how old you are or how big you are.  i long to see you but i can't.

but there is One who sees you.  Our God sees you.  we have a God who knows each line of your face when you cry and each grunt you make as you roll around in your sleep.  he thought of you before you were known to this world.  i'm so thankful that we have a God who knows us.  who knows you.

today i read through John.  i read about our Savior and all that He had to say about life.  he said that to all who receive him, he gives the right to become children of God.  we can be God's children.  he spoke of the eternal life that we can have in God.  he spoke of the light of life that is found in him.  he spoke of fullness of joy that is found in him.  there is promise of eternal joy, eternal life, eternal peace.  but it didn't come without cost.  it was our Jesus who purchased these rights for us.  he has given himself that we could join him in sonship.  he has given himself, given his life that we could find real life.

i don't know how you will feel as you grow up and think about your past or about where you came from. whatever you feel is okay and it's real.  but there is one thing that i want you to always remember.  we have a God who has always seen you.  we have a God who as always felt with you.  we have a God who loves you, who knows you, and who deeply cares for you.  we have a God who heard your cries and cried with you.  we also have a God that, despite all of the brokenness and hurt that we see around us, has promised that all things will be restored.  that one day there will be no more hungry bellies, or tears, or loneliness, or hurt.  he will come.  he will bring life. joy. peace. pleasure. forever. in the presence of the Father.  so no matter what our pasts hold as we look forward there is a certain light that we are waiting for.  Jesus is coming…




i wrote this a few months ago.  today is orphan sunday in america.  pray for children today.  pray for our child.  pray that the kingdom of God break through for families at risk of separation, pray for restoration, pray for Godly families to be called by God to adopt.  ask God if you are called to adopt or support an adoption.  pray for the hearts of orphans to be supernaturally mended by God, for needs to be met, for these fatherless to know their Father in heaven.  pray for their salvation.  pray that they will know hope… though it may seem far from them in this world, pray they know and anticipate the beauty of the restoration that will come when Jesus returns… the hope that is certain in Him.  

random happenings...

random update with pictures so it's not too boring….

my parents are here!  we love having mimi and papa here.  mary and luke especially love having mimi and papa here!  they called them "mom and dad" the first few days they were here… easy kids.  

we put a basketball hoop up in our neighborhood last week.  it's a hit!  we've been playing every afternoon this week and we've been pleasantly surprised with the players that have come out.  we're getting to know neighbors and playing ball together.  win, win.  and it's especially fun to have my dad here to play with us!  in his fifties and he still has it (more than anyone else on the court)!  :)

adoption update:  we're waiting.  for real, we're on the waiting list!  that's progress.  we invite you to pray for our child with us. pray that our baby's daily physical needs are provided.  ask God to provide one person to love our child while we're not with him/her to do it-- someone to hold our child while they are fed a bottle, look at our baby's eyes and talk or sing to him/her.  on a more practical note, our finger prints have failed again (2nd time)!  which means we have to do criminal background checks for the last five years.  pray especially for that process in indonesia.  lastly, we will begin applying for grants again-- please pray with us for God's financial provision through the whole process.  

lastly, danny and i are taking 2 nights away this weekend since my parents are here and are graciously agreed to watch our kids.  we're taking the train to Jogjakarta, another city on our island that is considered the center of javanese culture.  we're really looking forward to the time away together and to see some sites.  thanks, mom and dad!  

lesotho baby

there's a big change in our adoption plans... 

we are now adopting a baby from LESOTHO!  

we feel peaceful as we transition and are getting excited about the change.  i just added an "adoption" tab on the blog so if you know nothing about adoption journey feel free to read up.  i have done a terrible job updating because it's been basically just paperwork, but i'm going to try my best to update about it more regularly.  

we need to submit 6 family photos for lesotho and i think we have 2.  danny doesn't love being in front of the camera and i'm always behind it.  so this is our attempt to get to 6, about to go to dinner and search for live music. :)

are you wondering where is lesotho!?!  it's okay.  it's a tiny, landlocked country in the middle of south africa.  the terrain is beautiful, with mountains and snow!  i was coloring with mary today colored the mountains of lesotho.  she said, "and there's snow!?  maybe i can wear my jacket!?!"  :)  i would love to wear a jacket mary... as long as i'm doing it because it's cold rather than for modesty reasons.  

one of the cool things about us adopting from lesotho is the personal connections we have with the country.  a friend from the church i grew up in ministers in Lesotho and because of this many of my family members sponsor children there and a few have even visited.  it will be neat to bring our child home and into a family that already has a heart for his/her home country.  

and we wait...

these two pictures are a photographic representation of our adoption journey thus far.

we do a lot of paperwork in a big hurry... in time to give all of the completed paperwork to the next random person we can find going back to the states who will carry it for us.  

this was danny very diligently working on financial grant applications.    

and then we do a lot of waiting... which is just about as fun as it looks.   

currently we're in a heavy paperwork/research phase, as some things are likely to change in our plans.  we're thankful for a God who is trustworthy and who always leads us in peace.  

we can't wait to welcome our new baby into our home... sometime.  :)  

we are adopting!

We began praying about growing our family about a year ago and adoption came to our hearts but honestly, it seemed so impossible where we are right now.  We have always thought about adoption and hoped that one day God would call us to it.  This summer I was having moments of weakness and doubt… about myself as a mother and my ability to invest in the people that God has called us to.  While I was praying adoption came to mind again.  I felt like God said that though this road of mothering young kids and engaging/ministering in a different language and culture is difficult, by the grace of God I am able.  I felt like God said that now is the time to grow our family through adoption, despite my fears and feelings of inadequacy.  Danny and I prayed about this and felt right about it…  we were in!  After some further discussions with those wiser than us, we thought “are we sure this is the right time for our family!?!”  We again dedicated 30 days of prayer  and again we felt like God was calling us to adopt…. And we’re going for it!  

having a fun time making our sign... and i did intend to have a "G" on the end of "adoptin" but ran out of room and didn't want to do it over.  my capacity for crafts has limits.  :)

WHY ADOPT?

First, we are adopting because we believe that God is specifically directing our family in that direction.  We believe that God’s heart is for adoption and there are many ways for people to be involved in that…  we feel led to be involved by becoming parents.  We were once fatherless children in this world, without hope.  And our heavenly Father sacrificed His Son so that we too may become His sons and daughters (Eph 1:4-6).  We are adopted and this adoption is the means to our salvation and the eternity that we will spend with our Heavenly Father.  Though our decision to adopt will not “save” this child, we believe it is God’s heart to bring the fatherless and forgotten into a family (Ps 68:5-6), to be loved and cherished, just as God loves and cherishes that child.  We pray that our child will know his/her immense value in our eyes, but most importantly in the eyes of the Heavenly Father (Matt 10:30-31). 

this is ruthie, our sudanese doll from auntie kim.  ruthie is the beginning of our conversation of race.  :)
 

WHY ETHIOPIA (and not Indonesia)?

Well, Indonesia would have made sense, but the adoption process is very uncertain here.  There are no American agencies, no set process for families to follow, and the finalization of the adoption is very uncertain.  And, there is a law stating you can't adopt if you already have 2 kids (though we've known people to get around it).  Because of this we decided against Indonesia.  We chose Ethiopia for very practical reasons.  We want to stay rooted in Indonesian culture and language and months out of the country does not help that.  Ethiopia requires two short trips, which allows us to stay “planted” in Indonesia through our adoption journey. 

TIMELINE?

We wish we knew.  We started the process in November and it’s slow going.  This week we had our home study visit here in Indonesia... we hope to have our home study written and completed in the next month or two.   This is a long journey ahead of us and potentially even longer because we live overseas.  We are going through an agency that is experienced helping expats adopt internationally and have been so pleased with them thus far!    

I’m learning (already) that I have go through this journey with open hands.  I wanted our home study to be done months ago but we just keep running into things that are prolonging it.  With each obstacle I feel my grip letting go a bit more.  I have more peace about the timing now than I did when we started…. and I pray that continues to grow.  I know that God will bring our child home in His timing and I can trust that.  I may need to be reminded of this truth countless times throughout the next year, but I know that God is working a deeper trust into my heart… and for that I’m thankful.

So, welcome to our journey.  Please pray for our child, for our family and for this process.  This is another step of faith for us… there are so many unknowns.  But, we know that our heavenly Father cares more for our child than we ever will… and we trust that He will be faithful to lead this journey for His glory.