Sunday, October 19, 2014

i know how you feel, luke.

luke just turned the water on for the bath tub but the shower was on.  he was startled and started screaming and sobbing.  danny went running to the bath and was trying to make light of the catastrophe to calm luke down.  he happily said "it's like it's raining!  do i need to take you to the hospital?  do you need to go to america?!?"  and luke, through his sobs says, "i want to go to america… i want to live there foreevvveeeerrrr."   still sobbing, "is it cold there?  can i wear a jacket?!"  danny makes some funny comment and luke is already laughing… within minutes i hear luke telling mary how funny it was when the water showered on his head.  

i was listening to all this take place while finishing a sudoku puzzle in my room... i know, mom of the year right?!?  well, it kind of is our parenting philosophy… i don't always want to jump in and take opportunities from danny to care for and comfort the kids.  i digress.  back to me hearing luke's ridiculous wailing and the conversation that preceded…  i immediately thought, "i feel you, buddy.  i know exactly how you feel!"  we love indonesia and we're thankful to live here… but i'd be lying if i said i never said, through my tears, that same thing… " i want to go to america… i want to live there foreevvveeerrrr…."  it comes in phases… sometimes that comes out of my mouth every few months and sometimes it's every few weeks.  usually it comes after some major "catastrophe", equivalent to water falling on luke's head.  perhaps when i just want my house to feel normal (bug/rat/termite free and not 95 degrees) or when i want to make dinner but the i have to go to three stores to find chicken, broccoli and cheese (i mean, those are staples people!) or sometimes it's more serious, like when i just want to go out with "the girls" in america and laugh until it hurts.  but almost always, i'm fine within a few minutes or hours, just like luke.  i pray, God graciously reminds me that He hears my cry and is always enough and i have what i need to go on.  

sometimes i think it's the reality of life here… and that's okay.  i'm thankful that we have a God who can listen to our emotions and not judge us, however ridiculous or serious they may be.  and i'm also thankful that i can laugh at things that brought me to tears in the moment… like when i peeled out in a parking garage and fell off my motorcycle and my indonesian flashcards went flying everywhere (just like i imagine happening to the nerds in saved by the bell) and a stranger picked up my motorcycle and i got on and drove off without looking at anyone… bloody arm, weepy face and all.  apparently i didn't have the right registration to go into the parking garage but because we had only been here 2 months i had no idea what was going on… like a 3 year old.  like luke.  it wasn't funny then, but it is now.

**photo taken months ago in a blow up pool… though we have a very ugly bathroom our bathtub is not bright blue, luckily**


the Jennings secede from the South said...

Well said. Way to endure, sister.

Rahmi Mufiyanti said...

Hi, sedih membacanya.. but I will feel the same if i'm on ur position.
But, u know what?
We are so glad to have u and ur fams.. kita semua bersaudara.. right?

Chaira & me